I didn’t fake being sick very much when I was younger but I have a few tried and true methods that work very well.
- Creating a Mild Cold with Pepper
This idea came to me this morning while I was re-filling my pepper shaker. All you need is some finely pre-ground pepper that you can get easily at any Superstore or bulk food store. Take some pepper and breathe normally as you either fill a pepper shaker or allow it to drop into your other hand from at least six inches away. After awhile this will create an airborne cloud of fine pepper which you will naturally breathe in. Soon you will begin to sneeze, keep going for a little bit longer and then clean up any mess you have made with the pepper to destroy the evidence. You should have around ten minutes of sneezing and a half hour of having a runny nose to convince your guardian that you have a cold.
Note: breathe normally, breathing too deeply won’t work as well. You must also act unwell or they will send you to school with a box of tissues. Faking a fever as well may also help.
2. Faking a Fever
Faking a fever has become increasingly difficult over the years. It only takes a few seconds to take a temperature and your parent or guardian will probably stay near you during this time. The best advice I can give you is to keep your natural temperature up before and during the temperature taking. When you first wake up your body temperature may be a bit lower. Try getting out of bed and moving around a little bit to get your blood flowing. (Don’t do too much as it is possible for increased blood flow to also bring down your temperature.) After that, make sure your room is warm but not suspiciously hot and burry yourself under the covers. Be sure to keep your face warm right up until you need to take the temperature.
Note: This is not a 100% reliable method and should be paired with another method for best chance of feigning illness.
3. Faking Nausea
If you have any decent acting ability at all this is my number one suggestion for faking illness. Just keep your morning bed head, hold your stomach, walk slightly bent, and talk weakly. Imagine the last time you actually felt nauseous and try to emulate how you were feeling then. For an added touch keep yourself extra warm or extra cold and put a SMALL amount of room temperature water on your face and neck and give it a minute to become body temperature.
I can’t condone faking illness, but if you are going to do it anyways you may as well do it well. Know that you shouldn’t use these methods too many times. Not only will it be difficult to keep up in your classes, but your guardian may become suspicious and not believe you when you are legitimately sick.